Muck, smeck, and I stare at the fucking walls. For hours.
All I got is stuff I pure fuckin hate

O call to arms snipers what need practice; I'll be outside on Gloucester Road today. Shoot my fucking brains out for fuck's sake

staring at the fucking walls. Goddamnit I hate it here. Everything blah blah blah blah blah oh grow up so the world isn't how you wanted it to be when you were a kid. Fucking asshole.

My mind is no picnic and I really don't want to wake up tomorrow.

As soon as I get off the bus, it all hits me, the oh fuck.... yeah.. the my life.......
and I get into my flat........ oh yeah..... all this
I get online......... all this..............

Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack Fuck fuck et cet er rah

so much so I wish I could go back 10 years and not fuck up EVERYTHING
But still I can't. Just sit about in muck-brain and reality knowing that I and everything I am and do is dross forever now and always. Welcome to the rest of my life, reeeeeeeeeeeeeetard

see me by my legs what wallow and flail

sprint sprint back to hovel and whimper a fuckn curse
Clutches at straws, me I do and fill a bucket with wet sightsz

In othre words aaaah aaaaah aaaaah aaaaaah aaaah aaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

I just realised that I don't count

Late night ASDA shopping trip (cycling home with two large carrier bags = tuff)

3x Cans of Mackerel in Tomato Sauce
3x Cans of Tuna Chunks in Spring Water
1 Litre Strawberry Milk
1/2 Litre Semi Skimmed Milk
5x Red Chief apples
1x Banana
1x 500g pot of fat free Natural Yoghurt
1x 250g pot of fat free Greek Yoghurt
1x Muller Cherry Yoghurt pot
1x Bag of dried berries
6x Pack of Diet Vimto
1x Bottle of Acacia Honey
1x 500g Loaf of Dark German Rye Bread
1x Readymade Lentil Salad
1x 200g Pack of Low Fat Soft Cheese with Garlic and Herbs

One day I'm gonna ride my bike into the sky and disappear

fuck off I'm sick of it alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll (blah blah blah whine teen bullshit fuckwank)

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Today I spazzed out and had a fit curled up in my chair pulling my hair out and growling I DO NOT KNOW in inhuman tones. Then I passed out and woke up an hour later with a huge fucking pain in my back because I'd conked out at the wrongest angle.

LOL

I hate myself (shut up get over it you stupid whiny post-teen/midlife crisis goth bullshit asshole STOP FUCKING MOANING YOU INDECENT SHITBAG, WHAT FUCKING RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO FUCKING MOAN ABOUT ANYTHING YOU SNIVELLING PIECE OF FUCKWIPE?! JUST SHUT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK UP, YOU DEPRESSING DRILLING DIRGE OF A MAN.)

Happy goddamn birthday.

I'm drunk
I wish I was dead
my right arm now is a mess of gashes and scars
I'm a fucking idiot
why the fuck did I do that? that's teenage bullshit right there.
Fuck this

I'll nevber be anything decent

fuck
I should sleep
I'll never be godzilla or lassie
getting older is fucking scary
really
fucking
scary

I hate sleep
I would like to go to sleep and not bother waking up
which is why I hate sleep
because I go to sleep
and try to stay asleep
it doesn't work
so i wake up late
mad as a house
for missing the day
that I would have wasted anyway

fuck this.... I'm sick of it. So fucking sick of it.
My arm's stinging and dripping blood on the carpet. I should mop it up. Instead I'm making myself a cup of tea before bed. Priorities. What a fucking winner. Happy 26th birthday, man.

Ahn ahn ahn ahn the world wants me dead I'm sure I'm sure of it fuck

what am I scared of? oh fuck ahn ahn ahn

Aaahhhhnnnnn
when I stop for just a couple moments to remember all stuffs liiike... OCTOBER 2000, anything like that, or to consider what gawn on since AROUND that time... just... I fuckin' well up like a fuckin emo-champion or somesuch fuckin bullshit...
I can't nevah get that days back... and they was fuckin squandered as well (social tard ++++++)

And weighing it all up with what I am now
ohhhh fuck
I have wasted and am wasting my life.
Je Suis Retard (I Am Late)
I am a retard.

Today I was supposed to go to Glasgow, but I fucked that up.
My sciatica was so bad I could hardly fucking walk.
I've done fucking nothing all day. I've been sitting here since 6pm. It's 5am now. aaaahn..


Will I ever get it back?

nuthin and nuthin and nuthin

Jehhh.. Mostly I am asleep. I got nothing to do and nowhere to do.
Absolutely shit all. I can't face seeing anyone and as soon as I leave the house I just draw blanks, but as soon as I wake up (eventually) I get cabin fever and have to get out.
So fuckin' sick of this god-damn bedsit

Was my dad's birthday today, they went for a meal, I sat with 'em, no food, got no appetite, close to cryin' my fuckin eyes out at a couple points but held it together and kept my arm outta sight.

Mostly asleep. It's just more interesting than actually being awake.
Last night I dreamed I befriended an ape, we swapped bananas. The other night I dreamed I joined Cardiacs and Tim Smith was better.
I wake up and there's all this fucking... nothing
nothing except the utter cunt upstairs microwaving ketamine to sell to junkie scum who knock on my window, I am a gateway drug to k-town. Fucking pricks.

Forced down a can of spinach.
Tried to sleep earlier but ended up having a micronightmare and couldn't get back to sleep. Sat in front of a tv for a while.

This is my life. It is exciting.
I think about ending it, but I'm too much of a coward to actually go through with anything, I just make a vague mess now and again. Would rather just go to bed one day and then not so much not wake up, just have never existed. To vanish and leave no trace would be the best thing, but totally impossible. Frr shame.

But

There's nothing for me.
I do nothing and I don't seem to be able to do anything.
Pfffffffffffeh. Fuck this.

Soon I get to be dragged around several glorious airports. Joy betold. Ah.

asshole sky
fuckkin deathwad cockendersz

yeah I'm fffckn.. hella succinct.

Hanging around in the smeg-air of this shithole dead-dog town and this god-damned world is tooooo fuckin' much and hey but ain't it just the way things are? Whatever the fuck's important or some shit... some shit... whole fuckin' heapsz of cockend

This place is grinding me down intae a fuckin paste
Now if that was literally, that would be quite right.

Hello The Void
I like how nothing you are
and would like to go and be all absolute in your everything bits..

I am systematically destroying my life down to fuckin' bits and pieces. See what cack I can cobble together if there's anything left

I wonder if my life is over now?
Teen dribble - but - it's like.... huh
something I've put my whooooole energies into for the past 10 years and all that fuckin' jamb. All done with now. Feels fuckin' weird. Cut up about it to fuck, like fuuuuck

but shit I can't fucking do it anymore.

il pleut

Ehhh majick spirals of fuckn wacknisss
spent too long reading a website that just gave me WRONG ideas
listening to C64 tunes/pile of bananas - two of the very things that keep the horrid fuckin world at bay
gonna leave the house now
bad idea I don't really wanna see anyone but I am sick to death of these fucking asshole walls and the prick who lives above me with his magic microwave. Fuck off.

UHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF the whole damn time uphill frr nuthin goshdamn, no peaks NO FUCKN PEAKS fuckittttt

I don't want to STOP, but I might have to STOP

STOPPING is too close to death god-dammit.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh, stuff or death goddamnit! Sick of staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaleness!
Power Spazz must be a different person or something
This blog reserved for crap backhanded teenaged aphorism from now on anyway.

fffffffffffffuck offfffffffffffffffffffffff

It's July! I think it is now my least favourite month, it's always e m p t y, it's the new January I swears!

A Winner is You

I have been waiting for 10 years to land an ollie. It's the most basic motherfucker in all of skating. I suck at skating so bad. TODAY I NAILED MY FIRST OLLIE. I WON!

Pizza guilt and self hate all day. Hurrah! I whine to nobody about it though, to save face.

Battle Trumpets

Kinda something ends up happening after a while of turgid time, just find yrself in that hollowed out pocket of time, ya hollowed it out with a brush and y'can paint everything blue for a couple o days, which makes things brighter

cut cut cut
xerox xerox xerox
glue glue glue
paint paint paint

I get so bored! But hell if I can get absorbed, it's cool. What I need is a new excited grandma to take me scrumping again and make cider and make stuff out of wood and clay. Like in the OLD DAYS

Last night I ate a pizza. The guilt hits me today. Ungh.

It's those again times where the nothin-to-do-blues-chews-my-bruised whatever
Y'just get apathetic towards the idea of doing ANYTHING sometimes, no energy to get goin'
ssssuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkkksssssssss

I hate downtime when it goes on for more than a day
I need things to get me occupied, or I just feel like I'm floundering and treading water

which is when the pure delicious steaks of self-hate come fresh rare outta the pan and force themselves into my gullet (where I do swallow the bloody lumps)

Messiness n graaaah I got an outside face and good god
I am tired.
not sleepful
but god I'm tired
Made some decent loops though. A bit more humann

I think the guy who lives above me is making ketamine. I might shop him.
New Harvey Milk album

sunshine enuff that is
I need lite and water, but maybe not H2O n photonsz..

I'm so sick of CLOUDS!
They're BASTARD. If it rain, maybe this is OK.

Michael J Fox

Embargo blah whoah
I dig on some mental cylinderszszszszs of do-time...
Not quite enuff, but not quite structured enuff.... Better than nuthin'
Walk and powrtime
Food Issues
BUt heyyyyyyyy
busyyyyyyyyyyyy

I'M A BADASS KITE FLYIN' MAAAAN

Fingering all of my face

Shoved them in my ears and my eyes and my nose and my gob and in my nose and everywhere else on my face again. I have a sodding cold and sodding insomnia again
Monday night saw me staying up way past Daniel P Carter's ROCK SHWEO ON RADEIO OEN
(I like to pretend I'm a teenagedface still, and sometimes he plays good things, he played a rad-as-your-mum's-tablecloths Shellac track that I'd never heard before recently, and also it kind of serves as 'research' into the meta(L) album I'm doing, shows me why I hate most of it)

and lying awake from 3am til 8am, chewing my own jaw out of place in frustration.
8am saw that it was too cold to leave my festering quarkpile of a bedsit, but too late to give in to any idea of sleeping because it would just screw me about and I'd be mad as a house about waking up WAY TOO LATE, so I read a book from cover to cover, I don't know if I understood any of it, but it seemed to work and had me sat all chainy-smokered and a quarry of coffee and a cup of whiskey til 12, where I then ate a part of an ostrich and stayed awake until the next bedtime.

IT DID NOT GO WELL
It took me two hours of shifting around on a fucked up back (the right shoulderblade, anatomically geographic fact 'fans'!) to get to sleep in the first place, maybe kept myself awake by dribbling and babbling about osleepysleepyoyesicannywaitohyessyyessyndeedallseepyinthesleepyoh, but when I FINALLY got there, I dreamed that my brain was trapped online. I thought it was real, and my brain was trying over and over again to refresh a page on thequietus.com and failing every time.
When I woke up (after one hour of horrible frustrated sleep) I felt very puzzled and dry and convinced myself I was going to die. I promtly did just this after swallowing a cupful of crushed hemlock and found myself trapped in a wooden toilet cubicle, outside which were 'THE DEAD', who were waiting to induct me into my new and wonderful life full of opportunities as a corpse.
I didn't realise I was dreaming and this scared the shit out of me.

Woke up later with a nose full of green concrete and a throat full of children. Also my hair was sweating. I remained utterly monged out for the remainder of the day, which led to being dazed, which turned itself into a sweaty reamer of panic and fear and all the usual self-hate and self-doubt bollocks that seems to dance around with party poppers inside my head, LAUGHING AND CAVORTING AND HAVING A GAY OLDE TIEM UP IN THEAH whenevum it gets him the opportunity to do so. I would like to squash him with my thumb, if my thumb were a lobotomy.
I tried to walk off the fuzzy sheets of YOU ARE A DOOMED LOSER AND EVERYONE WINS MUCH BETTER THAN YUO, which didn't work, returned home UTTERLY KNACKERED and immersed myself in distractions and thought about random number generators and how random they are (in terms of Final Fantasy VII) in actuality.
The same goddamn thing happened, I went to bed at 3, lay awake seething until 7 until I had no say in the matter and was 'treated' to a mansize cumshot of somnolence, which was exactly what I didn't really want (TOO LATE), which led me to wake up today MAD AS A HOUSE for waking up too close to the next bedtime.

I hate wasting my time.

Last nite some mega soul clearin' mess big sound. HURRAH.

THE INTERNET AND I ARE POINTLESS

I am excited about the new Extra Life album coming out soon.

It sounds fucking wicked.

Like.... awesome.

GET I OUT OF A FUNK, LAWDY.

Bubblings

Pac Man, Vomiting.

Back to back with pac man and backpack man

Pac Man backs Backpack Man

Back to Pac Man, Pac Man packs his Backpack, man

Gives it to Backpack Man, who already has packed his backpack, man

and gives it back to Pac Man.

Who then Vomits. (I saw a picture on the front of a pizza place where Pac Man was vomiting, a pink slice of NUMBER PIZZA. I mean... if you're gonna eat somebody's phone number on a pizza, expect repercussions. He hadn't even chewed it.)

I wonder sometimes if the reason I've had so little to do is that maybe I died a few weeks ago and have since just been a very stubborn ghost, who people believe in.

I feel STRANGE.

Realising that I am "odd" in a new light.

Not something that I revel in, and only something I realise when I even think about it

Which I try not to do

because it gets to me

and I wish I was normal

but whatever that is

is some kinda ideal

and the way my BRAIN works (OR DOESN'T, THANKS HAIRCLUB FOR MEN)

would reject it

like Pac Man

and his guts.

META(L)

All the things that make me feel sick and wrong on many levels are legion.

Maybe there is some kinda progress thru it tho

Blank of muck nor any diamonds I thought of two weeks ago

Maybe I've just got used to the smell.

The "muck" is all-pervasive, tumescent cackling and preeny-weenie boys garfing up great chunks of GIRRRLLLL everywhere I looks, THE MAN WHO RUINED 90% of ALL NOTES AND CHORDS for me MUST be punished. Each yearning string section, each "striving" or "epic" crescendo, each lilting voice, each time somebody confuses "extreme" with "biased" (most metal/extreme metal) ((META-L! Hehehehehehe, I will remember that)), each time anyfucker uses the word weird in any sense, derogatory, self-righteous - WHY MUST IT BE USED WHEN TALKING ABOUT SOUND. PEOPLE CHOOSE THE SOUND. IT'S NOT WEIRD. GOD-DAMMIT. Trying too hard, NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH, relying on the "personality", just for fuck's ETERNAL SAKE I could go on til valhalla's maidens have had their fill of cock - just 99% of it all makes me feel VIOLENTLY ILL AND SAD AND WRONG AND CONFUSED AND MAYBE I'M HARD TO PLEASE AND MAYBE I'M JUST BORED OF IT ALL OR MAYBE I'M FUCKING RIGHT ABOUT IT HUHHHHHHH AAAA(g)HHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AND WHY ISN'T IT RESPECTED ANYMORE? I knowwwww it's a funny thing to think maybe, but gosh-damn, no wonder there's a glut, it's oiled into us 24-7 and how many people can just sit in a SILENT place? I've done it thrice today for quite long periods of time, found it PRETTY GOOD ACTUMALLY, and been slightly sickened by the pervading noise blistering back into my face against my will, and found myself ENRAPTURED WITH THE JOYS when I pressed play on my cd player to get something I actually yearned to hear out of it....

It's a good thing, it's a powerful thing (I would like to see anybody try and persuade me otherwise, not to be stubborn, I'd just like to meet the kind of person who really believes that there's no whack to a big chunk of sound in any sense) and gosh-damn it's necessary to even begin functioning at a fraction of the normal rate (something I don't think I'm capable of, time will tell, but time's had 25 years to tell, that's a long time, I think I'll be kept in the dark forevum on that one)

Phew!

I need paragraphs, I'm drownin' heah!

A glut!

Fuck off!

This ain't even totally about music here either.

LIFE'S WEIRD.

I'M NOT A PSYCHOLOGIST, I DON'T KNOW HOW THE BRAIN WORKS

I'M NOT A PHILOSOPHER, I DON'T KNOW HOW THE MIND WORKS EITHER.

BYE BYE

I'M GONNA SMOKE A FAG

OUT THE BACK DOOR

LIKE A 'COOL KID'

I've been trolling online. I'm so badass. My internet fists are massive. Digital Pugilism forevah.

I hate! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I don't know why. I just do. I would love everything if everything was GOOD.

I wonder if it seems like I make long posts... I don't reckon they're that long. Essays are shorter. I'm terrible at essays. I'm also pretty bad at dancing.

My brain doesn't work and I don't understand anything
I'm an IDIOTT
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEshit

That coupled with the fact that I'm so very very very very knackered and I haven't done anything. ANYTHING. AGH. ANYTHING!

All my worlds are vanilla, this font is too big.
SEE
SPOT
RUN

RUN
SPOT
RUN

etc.

That's about my level right now.
BRAIN .
BRAIN .
BRAIN .
BRAIN .
BRAIN .
BRAIN
or maybe MIND MIND MIND MIND MIND

Pfffft who the fuck knows

I WORK IN A ROOM WITH MEN WHO ARE MEAN

AND THE ROOM IS SMALL SO THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE IF I FLIPPED THEM OFF.





... such is life.

actual happy though

I did actually grin like a 5 year old and I ran around and clapped my hands
and so did charlie and in fact she was so impressed with the whole thing she pulled a face that made it look like she wasn't allowed on normal buses, which was nice cause it meant she could sit next to me on the SPECIAL ONE. (for idiots. Which is a nicer way of saying retards.)

note to self

I'm sorry to myself that I only come here to spray dirgy bullshit teenages rants about how I think I suck all the time (even though if you squint, you can make out a tiny little shaft of hope weeing in your eye)

I'd love to be able to type PUPPIES AND HOT DOGS AND I BREATHED IN A GAS CLOUD THAT TASTED LIKE SENTIENT LEMONADE AND NOW WE'RE BEST FRIENDS, THE OTHER DAY WE EXHALED A PICNIC, THEN ATE IT! WHEEEEE!!!! My Ukelelele's Fair Trade, HHOW ABOUT YOURSZ?

But I just bloody well can't.
The good things in my life are a constant, and I don't need to tell myself about them here, I tell myself about them in REALITY (that thing that's about 6 inches either side of my field of view), but I do OH HO I DO wish I had something nice to say about me and my trundlesome woo-woo-land existence.

Another negative thought would be committing ear suicide. I just go deaf
It'd suck, but at least I'd be able to focus on books and shitty scribbles (shitty scribbles being something at least I KNOW I'm crap at, the verdict's still out on everything else)

Seee? Bad thoughts just seem to come thick and fast as soon as I sit down to type things like I LIKE STRAWBERRIES. Maybe it's just easier to pour bile into the internet, one more drop surely can't hurt eh.

HELLO NOBODY I AM SAYING NOTHING

BLEEEUUURRRRGGHHHHH
WOOOWOOWOO
LAAA LAAA LAAAA LAA
I just shat a bunch of dead pixels into both of your eyes. Celebrate me, for I am a geneius.
I hate artists. I loathe them. I like art, and some artists are my friends.

But I do wish artists were dead. Smug fucks.
WALALOOLARY, I MAEK THE ART, I AM IMPORTANT, LOOK AT ME I THREW A WALL AT A PEN

I hate concepts. Bunch of muck. Let art affect who it does for their own sake, not yrrrr flimsy yet persuasive rhetoric, because I AM GOING TO BUY A SWORD AND CHOP OFF YOUR HEAD

I hate playing shit shows. They make me feel lousy, and envious of anyone who can ROCK OUT. I will start a band this year, it will be my awesome, and the players MY SOLEMN BITCHES. But they will know their place.
ANYWAY
That should have been in brackets.
Another shitty gig, and another lame teenage whine. Limiters. They suck. They are unreasonable. You insist on dropping everything down to 100db then you lose the physicality of the sound. The grit, the weight and the detail...
I am of course talking about LOUD music... it should be played LOUD and listened to LOUD... quiet music the inverse...

I heard that an OBSCENE health and safety measure may be implemented where limiters are a legal requirement in all live music venues.

This means me = fucked = no more team brick gigs to do as team brick as I am now = a fuckin shame (for me, not for the countless brightstars who think I suck, they're probably right, 50 million fall fans etc), cause it felt like I was startin' to hit my stride, so to speak, feelin' the ever-lovin' thrummm of woooshy noise beguilia (that is when I'm not met by a ghastly GAGGING BOX or a SILLY MAN who is stood in a box and the man is SHOUTING AT ME TO BE QUIET and dragging his slidey-mech-slugs towards him in a bid to SHUT ME UP. Prickery. Honestly.)

This being said, I rocked glasgow last week. I need to have a trusted team of sound engineers in all corners of the globe.... and BIG FUCK OFF AMPS AS CONTINGENCY PLAN..

Shitting fuck hell arsewart captain wretch piss Gok Wan cock patrol i hate you

My failings and inadequacies (OF WHICH THEY ARE LEGION) often make me wish I slept on a bed made of guns. The pillow is made of triggers.

I only want to get things right (or when I do get things wrong, I want it to be like tripping over a rock and breaking my ankle to find a golden mushroom or something gay like that or something AWESOME like breaking my leg by pretending to play football and finding that I had a robotic leg all this time, the kind of wrong that's illuminatory and life affirming, not the kind of wrong that's just crushing defeat, sailing past, on a bus, wearing shades, texting their mates about what a prick I am, whilst tossing a can full of puddle out the window clocking me full times up my jaw as I howl "BEJOYCE, IT'S ALL CHARACTER BUELDEING! AEY AM AN ATRIST AND ITES MY CONDISCION! IEM A GENEIOUS!)

I'll reiterate, I just want to get things RIGHT, and float about in my own little autism skateboard that I can ride because it's only for US AUTISM PEOPLE and we suck at stuff so let us have our magic skateboard OK THANKS --- BUT I CAN'T

Because people get in the way
SHITTY SOUND ENGINEERS
PEOPLE WHO HATE ME
SHITTY NEIGHBOURS
LIVE MUSIC VENUES IN RESIDENTIAL AREAS WITH NO SOUNDPROOFING (what do you expeeeeeeeeeect?)


FUCK IT



I'M GOING TO GO AND SLEEP

RIGHT AFTER I BUILD AN AQUEDUCT FROM MY SOLIDYFING SHAME (THE WATER WILL BE RIVERS OF SELF HATE... AND WATER.... OF COURSE, YOU FUCKING PLEB.... god I'm thirsty now... really, I could just go for some fizzy water, you know like 1992, in the sports centre at night, buying a can of tab clear, or lucozade, or just some fizzy fucking water god that'd be great) AND I WILL SLEEP UNDER IT AND EITHER WAKE UP A SOGGY DEAD OR QUITE REFRESHED.

GOD IN HAEVN I'M TIRED AS A... NO

WAIT

I MEAN THIRSTY
I'M THIRSTY
I WISH I WAS A VENDING MACHINE
I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET THAT RIGHT. I MEAN, IT'S EASY...

I suppose if my AS "schtick" was identifying varying carpet weaves, my life might be a damned sight easier, I'd just sit at home, scratching the specks of mud, coffee, semen and disappointment off my sick-green carpet and analysing the surviving strands.


BED TIME FOR DICK HEAD.

I'VE GOT NOTHING TO SAY AND I'M SAYING IT.

Me and charlie and I know my grammar is going woopsy dogpiles by the second here we done London and was nice and BIRDGS played guitars and we bought lots of music and I will werite more music today and all the time I wll I will I WILL GOD FORSAKE MY SHITTY GODDAMN TYPING AND whatever I Used to be ABLE to Construct a Cotent Sentence and ATE FOOD AND CHARLIE PLAYED MUSIC AND I LAUGHED AND CLAPPED AND TO BALANCE IT ALL OUT I PUNCHED THE AIR LIKE A MAN AND I WAS WEARING MY NEW SHIRT WHICH IS GREY WHICH I'M STILL WEARING NOW AND GOD HAHAHAAHAHAH WHOEVER HEARD OF QUALITY CONTROL?

I GOT BACK HOME AND THOUGHT I WANTED TO KILL 100000000000000 PEOPLE AGAIN AND WOOPSEI I DO STILL BUT I WILL SAVE A BUNCH BECAUSE THEY ARE LOVELY FOLK WHO DON'T NEED A SLAUGHTER AND MAYBE WE CAN START A NEW WORLDS WHERE PEOPLE ARE NICE


I AM LISTENING TO DONNA INVISIBLE BY ENNIO MORRICONE AND IT'S FUCKING GREAT EXCEPT MY DAD SAID IT WAS "LOVELY" WHICH I AGREE WITH BUT FUCKING GREAT IS BETTER

BYEBYE!

Crushing Boredom Renders Nerd Mute

BASICALLY. Nothing to do, nothing to write about, apart from vague ideas that I forget as soon as I sit down in front of a keyboard, and if I don't forget them, I smother them in a frot-board of swearing.

Today, neither.
I'm going to show myself this picture. I drew it. it is a record cover. And I like it. I know I'm not supposed to start a sentence with the word AND, but I've always hated that "rule".
At least I'm aware of my grammatical failure here, just choosing to be wrong. That's ok.

Anyway, this is an image


DUNUNNN

even for all the meticulously crafted prose and impenetrable metaphor at my disposal, I'll just say simply that I feel like a huge warehouse of cack. I am incapable of being a "proper human" and am still essentially a child, and not in an exciting way either. For hells.

I CAN'T BE BOTHERED! I CAN BE BOTHERED! NO I CAN'T

I wrote a rant about the jerkiness of people what like music and don't and why they're cunts but I'm too old to whine on about that stuff, I've reached the age where I just seethe quietly and mutter under my breath about what an insufferable jerk the man stood next to me criticising my choice of CD for the fact that they "Sound like a bunch of shepherds in a cave. Oh look! Baa-aaa! Baa-aaa! They sound like sheep!" THE MAN'S AN ARSE. I bet he likes classical music because it's SMART, the prize bellend. What a cock. ANYONE like that is a diiiiiiick. Kids who listen to emo (or ten years ago nu-metal, ten years before, goth or some shit I dunno, I can't remember) to help them "express themselves" or because it "connects" can all FUCK OFF ONTO A BUS, or alternatively just accept that they're teenagers and get some kind of smug wank on, I don't care, or I dunno, jump up and down for twenty minutes, see if you still need to express yrself then...
Two niches out of 3q48903q284-0298-09853-409589038095648-90834-584+++++++++ .. oh.... 'q' IS SO a number (look, I can use html! I SUCK!)

Just, the whole rant I just deleted and rewrote (..um) the whole fucking point is I guess the idea of listening to music for anything anything anything anything other than the feeling of "I AM HEARING SOUNDS OR A LACK THEREOF THAT I FIND VERY VERY PLEASING" is totally stupid, stupid like wiping your arse with your own cock (if you're hung like an acorn, ie.. me)...
whyyyyeyeyeyeyyy? I understand why, just not WHY... huh. I'm just a dick I guess.

Something else but I forgot oh well waaaaaambulance on its way you UNBEARABLE DICK MASCOT (me).


Boring to always talk about bloody dreams though, but I had a dream I was working... in France, outside (just seemed nice I GUESS, what am I know-what-I'm-on-about-man?), and then a BIG GYPSY and his FRIEND came and STOLE my SAMPLER and PUNCHED ME, and when I tried to fight them ALL MY STUFF got stolen. It sucked so bad. I went to a market and FOUND THEM, reported them to the police, but they didn't like me and I got deported. Without all my stuff. Shit.
I got home and found that a friend had moved into my bedsit, but they said it was ok because I had bunkbeds.

This dream sucked so bad I woke up early and in a foul mood. I went to sleep for another few hours and woke up in ANOTHER foul mood. Probably the same mood.

I'm in a "QUITE GOOD" mood now. "HOORAY"

Whatevs, I'm gonna go stab ghosts and make a mixtape for drum-manboy-forgotten-his-name


it's Joe. I think (sometimes you can't remember people's names ever so you just call them "hey", or "dude", or "YOU").

I was talking to a bit of a hero of mine on facebook. Look we're all "friends" and that now.
Exciting. "eeeeeee"

I haven't written anything about my fucking life lately because I just couldn't be bothered.
I will wait until I can just be bothered.

WINTER'S CACK!

I tried, I tried I trie-e-i-e-ied to get out of bed, but what with this towering structure beginning 3mm away from my face I was unable to move for fear of dislodging it and making it all COLLAPS and the whole thing was on fire anyway so I wouldn't want to burn my flat down too.


I had a dream that a giant Daily Mail attacked me in somebody's garden.