I'M AM NOT ROCK AND ROLL

I'm doing sudoku in the dressing room whilst listening to the breeders

this is fucking awesome.

Pushed over the moon into a hole (Ohhh fat)

FLIP HECK

We watched Terminators 1 2 and 3 in the FUCKING VAN WE DROVE IN

ONE NIGHT

The hotel was ok and I just had CHIPS FOR DINNER

YESTERDAY the hotel was TOO NICE and the room was BIGGER than and BETTER THAN my own flat

DAMN!

It had a motherfucking HI-FI

and COFFEE BAGSZ!

But then instead I HAD DINNER

Which was chicken

I think - with some VEGETABLESZ and then a strange dessert

made of cream

I think

ugh

it was nice

but uth

I mean "ugh"

I'M GONNA GIVE UP (or at least try and stay away from) WHEAT

Because I've gone fat all of a sudden

and I don't like all the chub-ness-ness of me

Flabby gross face and I want to DOOO something about it

I want to do a more exercise (which is hard when you are a tour but then it will be over-o)

and eat BETTER

even though I don't eat much

I think I eat a bunch of crap

and it IS TACKING ITS TOLLLLLLL ON MY FACE AND GUT AND TITTTTTES

Shiny New Feelers

Right alright didn't we just come all to COLOGNE right now where we jive like some dickholes and last night we played some music to people

OH EXCITING

But I happened upon beer and then beer and again beer until it took my fancy that I would be a dancer for the evening

to techno

and then to dub

which I thought I liked for about 5 minutes

then remembered I THINK IT GHASTLY

Then went into the room of TECHNO again

but in the dub room went DANCEHALL

which was betternessitude

but only through some beer

But then a MISTAKE of watching two hours of simpsons

Came out of the telly

early in the morning

and I had to get up

early in the morning.

Now I'm in Cologne and it's cold

the support band are A BIT SHIT

We're gonna play

THIS BLOG IS BORING!

Onanamu?

NO!

BORED! as all this gloom o' time o' yeer comes raging downhill with a flag that says SORRY I'M LATE
and it's frustration see what that I can see thru other people's BLOGS what all you do feel the bloody same, NA?! YEH! That we all wanna change and see this clean green-tint lite fresh air away from the beef-stock jerk-air moanin' thru the nite
and i wake up
each day
and for the love of god I can't think of any reason to get outta my fuckin' bed
until I have an obligation to do so
no schedule or anything, no routine that's real to speak of, which is ok, or so it USED to be ok, ok?
Sick to bloody death of my stinkin' flat o'DEATH sick to the back face of these stre-stre-streeeeets I trundle aroun' on, glarin agape at the sky thinkin' good-sweet-damn if I keep staring I'll get wet eyed
'cause the SKY is a crushin' thud of a cracked up drone what smashes my spirit to shreds and my sick shitty flat is the warm place with quietiness and that's a whole bowl of wack
so-does-I-go-agoraphobic?
Maybe being superfuckinskint is some kind of lead from it
if I could at least afford to keep myself in coffee and socks I could at least trundle up n down some roads without the "what's the point" feeling gurning away my churn of guts the whole time
and maybe the blisters on my feet
or how gosh-damn awkward I feel everytime I leave the house

Whatevum
it all yells
GREEN-HOLY-CHANGE
at me
Gonna go away on tour w/beak
don't reeeeeally care that much
that band's stolen so much of my time
and I've got content with it
and grown contemptuous thru it
so i've got slack
and mouldy
beefstockbrownair pervades thru the whole god-damn thing

It's no priority
but it pays.
Shucks

I felt excited, got offered a show
thinking about colours for records
each an arc of a wing of some neutral deity
Enuff of the label
need some others
who gives a shit eh.
Hmm.
Someplace.

Sketch and scheme
but i always talk of change
it's scary
but it's ok if it's slow
but damn I need it.
I have to LEARN and I have to DO and I have to BE and I can't STOP be STILL with things and maybe I need a better SOCIAL LIFE? but then again maybe I don't... i've cut off hundereds (NOT LITERALLY) this year and haven't had any avenues a-freshness a-open despite the yearn

but the yearn's a-healthy
Nietzsche had it rite
struggle + get BETTER
rather than avoid it all
to stay out of difffffffffcklty