Onanamu?

NO!

BORED! as all this gloom o' time o' yeer comes raging downhill with a flag that says SORRY I'M LATE
and it's frustration see what that I can see thru other people's BLOGS what all you do feel the bloody same, NA?! YEH! That we all wanna change and see this clean green-tint lite fresh air away from the beef-stock jerk-air moanin' thru the nite
and i wake up
each day
and for the love of god I can't think of any reason to get outta my fuckin' bed
until I have an obligation to do so
no schedule or anything, no routine that's real to speak of, which is ok, or so it USED to be ok, ok?
Sick to bloody death of my stinkin' flat o'DEATH sick to the back face of these stre-stre-streeeeets I trundle aroun' on, glarin agape at the sky thinkin' good-sweet-damn if I keep staring I'll get wet eyed
'cause the SKY is a crushin' thud of a cracked up drone what smashes my spirit to shreds and my sick shitty flat is the warm place with quietiness and that's a whole bowl of wack
so-does-I-go-agoraphobic?
Maybe being superfuckinskint is some kind of lead from it
if I could at least afford to keep myself in coffee and socks I could at least trundle up n down some roads without the "what's the point" feeling gurning away my churn of guts the whole time
and maybe the blisters on my feet
or how gosh-damn awkward I feel everytime I leave the house

Whatevum
it all yells
GREEN-HOLY-CHANGE
at me
Gonna go away on tour w/beak
don't reeeeeally care that much
that band's stolen so much of my time
and I've got content with it
and grown contemptuous thru it
so i've got slack
and mouldy
beefstockbrownair pervades thru the whole god-damn thing

It's no priority
but it pays.
Shucks

I felt excited, got offered a show
thinking about colours for records
each an arc of a wing of some neutral deity
Enuff of the label
need some others
who gives a shit eh.
Hmm.
Someplace.

Sketch and scheme
but i always talk of change
it's scary
but it's ok if it's slow
but damn I need it.
I have to LEARN and I have to DO and I have to BE and I can't STOP be STILL with things and maybe I need a better SOCIAL LIFE? but then again maybe I don't... i've cut off hundereds (NOT LITERALLY) this year and haven't had any avenues a-freshness a-open despite the yearn

but the yearn's a-healthy
Nietzsche had it rite
struggle + get BETTER
rather than avoid it all
to stay out of difffffffffcklty