I would REALLY like to meet that utter bellcastle cunt and stab his fucking throat off.
Cunt.
And then I'd like to stab the other two, but only if they were behind him.
Mostly right now I just want to kick his eyes into Wales.
Friday 30 October 2009
Hot Combo
Today I went to the psychologist, ate some burgers then I got bitten by a dog with tunabreath. These were three good things.
Wednesday 28 October 2009
Kopfschmertzen
It feels like days ago right that I was at practice, all full of last night's fish and feeling FUCKING RAD. Somewhere around the time when that funny thing in the sky, well you couldn't see it anymore so all the light went dark and the air went colder, then I went with it see...
Inexplicable moodswings lately, for no real reason other than maybe perhaps, "IT GOT DARK OUT", seems to trigger it a little. I dunno.
I was scowling at my sneakers and being unable to win at Zelda and not being friends with my hi-fi (shorthand: Havin' a Sulk) and thought that walking to my parents' house to steal their food would do me THRICENESS good..
Goodth 1) The walk is good exersize
Goodth 2) The walk will clear my head
Goodth 3) I want to steal their soup and eat it
There was no soup, apart from some that went out of date 9 years ago, so I had tunafish on bread. Exciting. Almost as exciting as the marmalade what done followed it.
The walk didn't really clear my head, though it did clarify a little point that's been following me and stabbing me in the back of the BRANE for the past few weeks, which is
"Totally fuck i think I MIGHT just be going slightly out of my fucking skull with going mad and that".
I've said this before, but I need me some massive changes going on, as I'm sick to bloody death of MOST of my life (though some of my life is bloody awesome, thankyouverymuch)... hell, I've been saying this for the past 5 years now! I should do something about it. Sometime. Instead of groaning on the internet forever and ever til my arms come off or something..
If I go away, sometimes I feel actually sick to be coming back to Bristol, to my smegness of a deathflat (even though it's been tidied up and that, it's still utter smeg), to a dead-town of dead-tones with a scene I cannot even begin to tolerate. There's no shows, and not an awfae lot to do... The shows that DO happen is a room full of people I know and most of the time do not want to talk to. Spleh.
Long cunty rant short, I just want to keep BUSY rather than holding on to my time for too long, or waiting for the OK GO from various slo slo slo slo channels, I want to keep learning stuff (I haven't felt like I've learned anything in ages now, that makes my mind feel all foggy and useless), I want to keep DOING stuff, but it seems sometimes impossible to muster up the energy to get out of bed sometimes (vicious circle, I sleep later because there's nothing to get up for, sometimes there's just no point)
Anyway, I've eaten the fish and the bread and the marmalade, and now I'm having a cup of tea, a coffee will follow, and I will trudge home knowing that my sanity might be slowly oozing out of my ears with all the wax.
Inexplicable moodswings lately, for no real reason other than maybe perhaps, "IT GOT DARK OUT", seems to trigger it a little. I dunno.
I was scowling at my sneakers and being unable to win at Zelda and not being friends with my hi-fi (shorthand: Havin' a Sulk) and thought that walking to my parents' house to steal their food would do me THRICENESS good..
Goodth 1) The walk is good exersize
Goodth 2) The walk will clear my head
Goodth 3) I want to steal their soup and eat it
There was no soup, apart from some that went out of date 9 years ago, so I had tunafish on bread. Exciting. Almost as exciting as the marmalade what done followed it.
The walk didn't really clear my head, though it did clarify a little point that's been following me and stabbing me in the back of the BRANE for the past few weeks, which is
"Totally fuck i think I MIGHT just be going slightly out of my fucking skull with going mad and that".
I've said this before, but I need me some massive changes going on, as I'm sick to bloody death of MOST of my life (though some of my life is bloody awesome, thankyouverymuch)... hell, I've been saying this for the past 5 years now! I should do something about it. Sometime. Instead of groaning on the internet forever and ever til my arms come off or something..
If I go away, sometimes I feel actually sick to be coming back to Bristol, to my smegness of a deathflat (even though it's been tidied up and that, it's still utter smeg), to a dead-town of dead-tones with a scene I cannot even begin to tolerate. There's no shows, and not an awfae lot to do... The shows that DO happen is a room full of people I know and most of the time do not want to talk to. Spleh.
Long cunty rant short, I just want to keep BUSY rather than holding on to my time for too long, or waiting for the OK GO from various slo slo slo slo channels, I want to keep learning stuff (I haven't felt like I've learned anything in ages now, that makes my mind feel all foggy and useless), I want to keep DOING stuff, but it seems sometimes impossible to muster up the energy to get out of bed sometimes (vicious circle, I sleep later because there's nothing to get up for, sometimes there's just no point)
Anyway, I've eaten the fish and the bread and the marmalade, and now I'm having a cup of tea, a coffee will follow, and I will trudge home knowing that my sanity might be slowly oozing out of my ears with all the wax.
Friday 23 October 2009
"Spleh" I said and hurried.
I am only going to post when my head is clear. It is not clear today, so I won't post. Except for this post saying that I won't post under foggy conditions. I just don't want to write about panic attacks all the time like I used to, I'm bored of that.
I wanted to write about hardcore today, but I won't, I will write about that another time. The end bye.
I wanted to write about hardcore today, but I won't, I will write about that another time. The end bye.
Thursday 22 October 2009
The sound of stuff happening
Today was my first solo show proper since July... it's been fucking ages and I've been shiiiiiiiitting myself. It went well. I made a racket. I enjoyed myself and then I played a song.
I stole a whole crate of Vitamin Water from the rider. I will go back tomorrow.
I was also more nervous than usual because I was waiting for my loooooooove with butterflies in my GUTS. I went to spillers and bought something that drones and something that noise-rocks, and then walked around listening to neither. I was listening to Noveller who is very good. The end.
I stole a whole crate of Vitamin Water from the rider. I will go back tomorrow.
I was also more nervous than usual because I was waiting for my loooooooove with butterflies in my GUTS. I went to spillers and bought something that drones and something that noise-rocks, and then walked around listening to neither. I was listening to Noveller who is very good. The end.
Wednesday 21 October 2009
ice cream headache. No ice cream.
It's sunny! I want to get out and DO STUFF, but I'm skint. I might go and sit someplace and draw a little bit of stuff, avec headphonesz.... I SHOULD do that really.
Ok, well that's my day until my dad comes to shovel up my gear so I can practice for tomorrow and then I see the one of TOTAL LITE.
Ok, well that's my day until my dad comes to shovel up my gear so I can practice for tomorrow and then I see the one of TOTAL LITE.
Tuesday 20 October 2009
(rememble)
Sende Mi, Sende Mi, Gidiyorsun sende mi! Ben Sana, doyamidim. Cildirmamak elde mi. Bu Kalbim yaniyor, algiyor, acior. Eger Beni goturmeszen, birak atese koy beni...
5:22 am
Yeppp... as per usual crummy weather sleeping pattern. Earlier today when I woke up it was raining outside. I couldn't be bothered to get up if the weather sucked, so I went back to sleep. I'm a fucking genius.
New shit for real shit
Totally.
A new typeface and new day (In so much trouble)
Wanted to start some new blog with a shred more anonymity, for a while at least...
What's my life?
Right now:
I work on things musical and scribblesome...
(Finishing albums and writing more, some shows, some shows)
I have a wonderful indie-rock wife who I love to pieces
(she is amazing and I am e'er so grateful to be hers)
I still hate the winter and I still hate this town
(it sucks, and most people here suck too, hence the blog of nobodyknowsme)
I recently did an orchestral piece which bummed me out for ages because I thought it sucked but changed my mind when I heard a rough recording of the show and now I think for what it is it's good (though some things could have been better, but I'll save that for next time, RIGHT?)
Babble. Complete and utter babble. Drivel. Pixel-snot.
What I want:
More work to do
My brain to work right (I am seeing a psychologist, but I don't just mean work in that sense, I mean I want to learn shit)
Get my shit together (home recording/cash/moods)
More going around places (hopefully a large chunk of that with indierockawesomeness)
Type without brackets (they just feel so necessary right now)
Avoid most people.
All doable shit.
Hopefully if I write more here, I'll actually write THINGS as opposed to dreary lists (as opposed to GOOD lists, which I like) and "goals". Not this time tho. Just for starters and shit.
Who am I kidding?
Bring on the deluge of constant text bile.
A new typeface and new day (In so much trouble)
Wanted to start some new blog with a shred more anonymity, for a while at least...
What's my life?
Right now:
I work on things musical and scribblesome...
(Finishing albums and writing more, some shows, some shows)
I have a wonderful indie-rock wife who I love to pieces
(she is amazing and I am e'er so grateful to be hers)
I still hate the winter and I still hate this town
(it sucks, and most people here suck too, hence the blog of nobodyknowsme)
I recently did an orchestral piece which bummed me out for ages because I thought it sucked but changed my mind when I heard a rough recording of the show and now I think for what it is it's good (though some things could have been better, but I'll save that for next time, RIGHT?)
Babble. Complete and utter babble. Drivel. Pixel-snot.
What I want:
More work to do
My brain to work right (I am seeing a psychologist, but I don't just mean work in that sense, I mean I want to learn shit)
Get my shit together (home recording/cash/moods)
More going around places (hopefully a large chunk of that with indierockawesomeness)
Type without brackets (they just feel so necessary right now)
Avoid most people.
All doable shit.
Hopefully if I write more here, I'll actually write THINGS as opposed to dreary lists (as opposed to GOOD lists, which I like) and "goals". Not this time tho. Just for starters and shit.
Who am I kidding?
Bring on the deluge of constant text bile.
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