Kopfschmertzen

It feels like days ago right that I was at practice, all full of last night's fish and feeling FUCKING RAD. Somewhere around the time when that funny thing in the sky, well you couldn't see it anymore so all the light went dark and the air went colder, then I went with it see...

Inexplicable moodswings lately, for no real reason other than maybe perhaps, "IT GOT DARK OUT", seems to trigger it a little. I dunno.

I was scowling at my sneakers and being unable to win at Zelda and not being friends with my hi-fi (shorthand: Havin' a Sulk) and thought that walking to my parents' house to steal their food would do me THRICENESS good..

Goodth 1) The walk is good exersize
Goodth 2) The walk will clear my head
Goodth 3) I want to steal their soup and eat it

There was no soup, apart from some that went out of date 9 years ago, so I had tunafish on bread. Exciting. Almost as exciting as the marmalade what done followed it.
The walk didn't really clear my head, though it did clarify a little point that's been following me and stabbing me in the back of the BRANE for the past few weeks, which is
"Totally fuck i think I MIGHT just be going slightly out of my fucking skull with going mad and that".

I've said this before, but I need me some massive changes going on, as I'm sick to bloody death of MOST of my life (though some of my life is bloody awesome, thankyouverymuch)... hell, I've been saying this for the past 5 years now! I should do something about it. Sometime. Instead of groaning on the internet forever and ever til my arms come off or something..

If I go away, sometimes I feel actually sick to be coming back to Bristol, to my smegness of a deathflat (even though it's been tidied up and that, it's still utter smeg), to a dead-town of dead-tones with a scene I cannot even begin to tolerate. There's no shows, and not an awfae lot to do... The shows that DO happen is a room full of people I know and most of the time do not want to talk to. Spleh.

Long cunty rant short, I just want to keep BUSY rather than holding on to my time for too long, or waiting for the OK GO from various slo slo slo slo channels, I want to keep learning stuff (I haven't felt like I've learned anything in ages now, that makes my mind feel all foggy and useless), I want to keep DOING stuff, but it seems sometimes impossible to muster up the energy to get out of bed sometimes (vicious circle, I sleep later because there's nothing to get up for, sometimes there's just no point)

Anyway, I've eaten the fish and the bread and the marmalade, and now I'm having a cup of tea, a coffee will follow, and I will trudge home knowing that my sanity might be slowly oozing out of my ears with all the wax.