Bleh and The Blahs

Cack shows:
Always send me off into some crappy spiral of doubt and negative bullshit thoughts
Tho they seem real enough at the time, always get into some feeling of "what's the smegging point?" kinda thoughts, all useless and then the worse kinda thoughts of "Feh, you can all just do this without me, fuck it I'm gonna go live on a rock somewhere isolated, fuck the LOT of you"
And feel hated and introverted

Even if people love it
or whatevum

Getting away from the scene is always a good step I suppose, though it does mean mulling around in bad-jive thoughts for longer periods of time...
Gluh, I always feel like a useless prick who ain't good at fuck all when it goes down like this
feels like the other music I make (which is infinitely less important to me, maybe that's why it doesn't hurt when it crashes) mocks me and goes "Just give up, fuck, why are you even in our bands?"

I come online to find that people are people are complete dicks.
The surprising thing is that I was surprised at that. I KNEW that already.

I have a startling distaste/distrust/dislike/diswhatever for all people except for my nearst and dearst (very few, but they are awesome...)

Bleh. I am an inadequate waste *from my p.o.v

I just wanna go to bed.
I broke into a hostel to come online.
I could probably get away with sleeping here.
But I have to pack up my embarrassment .